I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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