VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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