I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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