yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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