Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize