I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize