4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
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i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
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Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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