If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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