i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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