why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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