hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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