I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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