I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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