If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
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Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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