Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize