I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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