Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize