didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize