Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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