I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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