Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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