Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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