I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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