my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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