Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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