Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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