Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize