currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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