she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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