He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
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I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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