How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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