youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
only you would photoshop your dick
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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