When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Randomize