I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize