Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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