I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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