He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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