if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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