We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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