Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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