Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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