I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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