just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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