I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize