if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize