you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize