I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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