i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize