Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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