my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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